Alone to the very end??

I’ve got a quick few minutes to belt out a short blog. I’m sure I’ll elaborate on it later. But anyhow, if you know me, then you also know of my other blog that talks about my problems with my bipolar disorder. Well b/c of that, I have very little patience for people, namely children in general. Medicated or not, my mood swings flip from manic, to sane, to depressed in a matter of minutes. Some days its one or the other, or the other, some days it’s all friggin three.

So I was talking to a few folks, because in my life. I like my life. No matter how crappy it seems at times, and no matter how many times I want to slit my damn wrists, I still kinda like my life. Though I know that one day it will end by my own hands. (Though I’m trying to avoid that). I just know that, I DO NOT want kids.

I have way too many health issues (namely the bipolar thing – which in my family is hereditary), allergies out the ass and to someone else’s ass, adhd, and well…there are a lot of things. So, I don’t want to risk passing that along to my off spring. Another reason why I would never donate my eggs. It’s too much of a health risk. While on another hand, I have a great mind. I am a critical thinker who loves to learn. So its a tit-for-tat thing. But in the end, I don’t want a child to grow up with the issues I have.

So in point…I can’t tolerate a lot of noise, I can’t stand for figidity people (myself included), I don’t like a lot of things kids do. I don’t like to spend my money on kids. Well let me rephrase that…i don’t spend my money on kids not related to me. Yeah, I love my sister’s kids (for short periods at a time), but not many other’s kids.

Yeah I know people raise their children all in different manners, but everytime I’m out in public, it’s always one kid. And for folks who say…oh my child doesn’t act like that…are you with them 24-7? Nooooo, you miss the fun shit I see and hear. They may act like angels around you, but when you aren’t around…that’s when it all comes out. I have to restrain myself because yes, I’m that person who believes in the old school, pull out a belt or switch and commence to beating that ass. (Ask my cat)

But with all that being said. I won’t date a woman with kids. So i’m being told, that because of this, i’ll most likely be alone for the rest of my days. I want to travel. and while I know you can travel with kids, the stuff I want to do, you can’t do with kids. Well you can, but you  have to wait until they are old enough. Then you have to save and save and save, b/c now you have to pay for 3,4,5…..people instead of 2. Not going to happen here. I’m only paying for two. It’s cheaper. We don’t have to worry about if we will all be seated together on a plane. I don’t have to pack a snack bag that is bigger than my bookbag, no diaper bags, none of that. Just a few things in a sack, and off we go.

But alas…maybe I will die alone. Who knows, but i’ll try to have fun until that happens.