The whole truth and nothing but …

So I ran across an article this weekend and my thoughts are just mind boggling. I mean in a way, it would be me.

So there was this older guy, Leslie Ray “Popeye” Charping. He passed away on Jan. 30, 2017 at the age of 75 due to cancer. He apparently was an asshole. His family is glad to see him go. Why you ask this…well here’s the obituary that they put in the paper (which was quickly removed from the paper’s website…but still snagged by some great journalist)

Leslie Ray ‘Popeye’ Charping was born in Galveston on November 20, 1942 and passed away January 30, 2017, which was 29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved. Leslie battled with cancer in his latter years and lost his battle, ultimately due to being the horses ass he was known for. He leaves behind 2 relieved children; a son Leslie Roy Charping and daughter, Shiela Smith along with six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers.

“At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive. Leslie enlisted to serve in the Navy, but not so much in a brave & patriotic way but more as part of a plea deal to escape sentencing on criminal charges. While enlisted, Leslie was the Navy boxing champion and went on to sufficiently embarrass his family and country by spending the remainder of his service in the Balboa Mental Health Hospital receiving much needed mental healthcare services.

“Leslie was surprisingly intelligent, however he lacked ambition and motivation to do anything more than being reckless, wasteful, squandering the family savings and fantasizing about get rich quick schemes. Leslie’s hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned. Leslie’s life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick whited sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.

“With Leslie’s passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend. No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologizes to the family he tortured. Leslie’s remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until ‘Ray,’ the family donkey’s wood shavings run out. Leslie’s passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all.

So needless to say … his family wasn’t so fond of him. Makes me shrug my shoulders. Because, truthfully, when my uterus incubator and her mother pass, I’m sure that my contributions to their obits will read something close to this. Well maybe not so much for the older hag, but the younger one…for sure. At least as much as I can remember until I turned 16 and moved out. Then I can add in all of the stories that I’ve heard of her over the years. I mean..goodness.

Just let me …. **sigh** no need, this is life.

Farewell Popeye … may your ashes never be found.