Are you missing me

Posted by blutruth on September 26, 2021 in Blogging |

Since my last posting, I did exactly as I said I was going to do and I have left them to their vices. I have maintained my distance since that is what seemed appropriate for the current situation. I mean, given everything that was going on, it seemed like maybe I was over reacting, or over stepping, so I took a giant step back and said well maybe this space and distance is what is needed right now.

But i did what i promised i’d do. i texted on their birthday. I mean, i’d be a shitty friend to not acknowledge their birthday. I sent an e-card, a gift via email that was personally thought out, and some money. I wanted to send a real card, but I never had the address to send one so i couldn’t. After that, i went back to my silence. Back to living my life.

I spent the entire day catching up with an old friend who recently moved back to town after having been gone for 3 years. It felt good to be able to catch up. We sat and talked for like 4 almost 5 hours. I explained everything that i had been going through recently, including some of the things with this person. and like with my preacher friend, i got some advice that made me think after the fact. lots on my mind after i got in the truck and drove home.

The next day, i hung out with this same friend and their wife for the entire day. it felt like old times again. like how we used to hang out. when they lived here together. i can’t wait until they are both here again so i will actually get out of the house more. things haven’t been the same since they left three years ago.

But while i was out with them, guess who texted to see what i was doing?

yup, they did, the one i’m keeping my distance from. they wanted to see what i was doing. i guess they thought i was playing about keeping my distance from them. i’m not reaching out at this point. if you want contact with me, you reach out to me. as far as i’m concerned, i’m just a ghost at this point. i don’t exist. i’m as good as dead to you far as i’m concerned.

i’ll answer messages and say what needs to be said, but i’m not carrying on a full blown out conversation for unnecessary reasons. i’m keeping it short and sweet.

Today, i got contacted to watch a movie. i guess to round out the bday weekend. and to see if i would fall back into my old ways. well i did watch the movie, but afterwards was just a bit painful. i was unsure what to say. like i kinda knew what to say, but was unsure where to interject what i wanted to say. so i said i’d call back so i could run an errand and go talk to my neighbors. i need to remind them about their dogs for the upcoming days. one didn’t answer their door. so i’m going to have to go back and try again, perhaps take a post-it note back with me to leave in case they don’t answer again. I just want don’t want to have to chase dogs all over the neighborhood. especially dogs that don’t belong to me.

so for now i’m just circling the yard, watching for them to come home. so i can alert them. damn neighbors.

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